Aug 7, 2024
Being in a relationship (with a feeling represented by Mr. Luck) and having a lover who is personified as a different feeling (Mr. Blues).
The best solution to get out of the affair is to turn the lover into a friend.
My lover, Mr. Blues, wants me to feel blue. I fell in love with him, but it’s better to put him in the friend zone. Actually, he is an ex-boyfriend, and we spent a lot of time together. Somehow, I still love him and miss the time of being blue. I am in love with him, but a relationship would be very dramatic. As friends, I can occasionally visit him, and we can spend time together without getting hurt. I should rely on my reason instead of my feelings. Mr. Luck would become jealous. But I don’t know if Mr. Luck really loves me. Because he doesn’t seem to be faithful. Mr. Blues has always been there. So, in a way, Mr. Luck would actually be the affair. Now I am confused. It could also be the other way around: I am with Mr. Blues and in love with Mr. Luck – my lover whom I long for. Being hurt by Mr. Blues and wishing to be with Mr. Luck, who truly makes me happy. I think the tears indicate that Mr. Blues is by my side, and I wish it were Mr. Luck.
To feel blue actually means to be angry in a sad way or to be full of self-hatred. Or you might hate your beloved because he has hurt you, and you want him to love you back. For me, I have always felt blue whenever I was lovesick. And feeling lucky, when I was in love.
I have to think about the question: What came first? The feeling of being depressed and making art, or making art and then becoming depressed? And I miss the time when I could create art again. I don’t know if I was happy or sad.
And behind these feelings lies a person who truly tries to love me but cannot, and suffers because I am obsessed with these other lovers, like Mr. Blues and Mr. Luck, and therefore cannot maintain a healthy relationship. That’s at least what I’m constantly told. But I think they don’t know what true love is.
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